he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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