I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
