Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize