btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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