We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
