This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize