one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
