Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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