You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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