why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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