I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
