Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
