Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
