The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
