i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
my liver is dry heaving
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
