Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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