So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is wine microwaveable?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
