You're completely useless in the revolution.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
