I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
