i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The best revenge is premature balding
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
