No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
