Soap is not a condiment
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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