apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
