In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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