grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
