I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
