You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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