My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
