i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
