I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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