We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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