he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
