your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
