I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
