first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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