Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
