You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
