Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
