So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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