Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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