So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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