Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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