Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
