Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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