It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
