I wanna bring you to show and tell
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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