her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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