That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
