Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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