i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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