By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
