Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just high enough for therapy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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