you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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