There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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