so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dignity is for republicans.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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