awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
