You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
