you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
