how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
