It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
