Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
