yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
